Re: Starting an online journal

I've just read a blog by a friend of mine. The first one was at June 2006 and the last one was at August 2006. Pretty obvious that she has spent 3 months on her blog before she quit.

The first post title is 'Starting an online journal'. Very typical, it's about her feeling for the beginning of her blog and so on. She even mentioned that she was inspired by a motivational CD saying that time is precious, appreciate it, blah blah blah. Hence, she would start jotting down everything about herself, so that she can reflect back on what herself was after 10 years later. The only thing is that, she can only reflect those 3 months matter that she left.

I didn't share the same thought like she has when I started blogging. I was first thinking to start an anime blog but only to find out that I'm so outdated comparing to other's a lot more interesting and up-to-date anime blog. Such a shame~~~

Hypocrite??? Not

This year is quite a new beginning of my life. Or at least a new chapter of my life. Before 2008's arriving. The 2007 has made a quite interesting part of my life (for this I'm sure).

I've changed my job, for bigger money, for new environment where noone knows me, where I think I should be able to change my attitude at least. I've always got problem with my temper. And I'm seriously think that this is a very huge problem cos' bad temper has cause me quite a lot of hassle before this.

I've always believe that one man can never changed how his mind think, how his attitude is and how his temper is. That's why I've never wanted to change myself until I've found out that I myself has becoming a very terrible man in my previous working environment. I think that's the biggest reason on why I wanted to change my job, in order for me to learn to be ... humble with myself.

So far, this year, I have never expressed my anger in front of my colleagues. I started to greet 'Good Morning' to all my colleagues with (very) big smile. If you ask me if I have totally changed my temper 100%, I would say no. In fact, what I did was just controlling myself a lot a lot more harder than before. I don't know if this is hypocrite. I really don't know. However, pls. don't tell me that everyone is not trying to control themselves about their emotion cos' otherwise, I would admit that I'm a hypocrite then.

Morning, coffee & sugar

Who would be able to bear a morning with coffee and sugar?
Absolutely only minority.

Team Medical Dragon

Who wants to be a doctor? This one is good, but, is it only possible in tv drama?

Since when you like to read?

Reading is interesting. It gives you knowledge, and more important, it gives you topics to talk about when you're with your frens.

SMS

"I've just been dumped just now."
SMS sent...

SMS replied.
"... Is it..."

"I thought I would be able to achieve happiness this time. Looks like I'm wrong again."
SMS sent...

SMS replied."
... Umm..."

"I'm a very passive lady. Quiet, boring, can't sing, can't dance, looked plain. When he came to me, I thought he would change my world. Somehow, I get my self-esteem again. I really hope it would last forever."
SMS sent...

SMS replied.
"... Umm..."

"Why are you keep replying 'Umm' only?"
SMS sent...

While waiting reply, she was thinking in her mind:
"SMS conversation is very different from the direct voice conversation. Especially when waiting for the reply, sometime it makes people feel forever. When sending message to a person, there's always no guarantee that the person would reply back. Hence, have to purposely make the message longer in order to get attention and replies. It's sort of a painful and pathetic conversation way. Nevertheless, it's also the easiest way to express what you want to say in a more proper and clearer way."

SMS replied.
"Because I don't know what else can I say other than 'Umm'."

... ... ... ...

SMS replied.
"Can I see you now?"

Betrayal

Naomi: I still can't believe that Mina and Ken were actually having an affair.
Ryo: ... ...
Naomi: How could Ken trick Mina to kill a man for him...
Ryo: ... ... When people trust each other, it would always cause problem.
Naomi: ... ... Nevertheless, problem arise because of the people itself.
Ryo: ... ...
Naomi: Trusting and betrayed, later, start to trust again. I think that's how people act all the time.
Ryo: ... ... Only a person that has never been betrayed would say something like this.
Naomi: ... ...
Naomi: I don't think there's anyone in this world who has never been betrayed before.
Naomi left.
Ryo: ... ...

Merry Go Round

-You know what, I've never play Merry-Go-Round before.
--Are you serious?
-Ya, why should I lie about it?
--Wow... haha... you're already 26 and you've never played Marie-Go-Round, hmm, that's interesting.-Ya ya, interesting, laugh~~~
--Okay, okay, I'm not gonna laugh. Just let me think, when was my first time playing it... Hey, I've even played the Helicopter version of Merry-Go-Round. You know that?
- -_-"
--Haha, you wanna go playing now?
-I want to, but what i'm seeing is there're a bunch of kids playing it. Adult... zero.
--Do you mind?
-I don't know...
--Then, let's just walk off.
-... ... ok...
--You wanna hear a song?
-What song?
--I'm gonna sing it to you now.
-Hmm?
--Merry~~~ Merry Go Round~~~ Round~~~
-Haha, hey, don't just simply create a song out of nowhere.
--Maybe we should walk there and sit on the horses.
-Hmm, sounds like a better idea. Haha.

One Leg For One Life

In the hospital,

Marie: Hi...
Frank: ... (smile) hi...
Marie: Mmm...
Frank: ?
Marie: I'm James' sister...
Frank: James?
Marie: Ya... the boy you saved this afternoon.
Frank: James, O, so that's his name hur? How's he doing now?
Marie: Thanks to you, he only has a few scratches on his body...
Frank: Ooo! That's great! That's great!! Hahaha...
Marie: ... ...
Frank: Why? Is there anything wrong with him?
Marie: No no, he's fine! It's just that... your leg...
Frank: Hur??? Oya... my leg... haha... don't worry about it.
Marie: I've asked the doctor, he said...
Frank: Ya, he told me that too... But hey! One leg for one life, I think that's more than worth. So, it’s really not that bad.
Marie: ... ... (smile)
Frank: Let me tell you, the doctor might has forgot to tell you this that there's actually still chance for me to walk normally again after the therapy. And so, wish me all the best, okie?
Marie: (smile) Wish you all the best!

It's Up To You

Paula: Hey, what's wrong with you?
Connie: Sigh~~~ I wanna tell you something, but make sure it's only between you and I. Fine?
Paula: Well, it must be some guy hur?
Connie: ... ...
Paula: Haha... who's that lucky guy?
Connie: ... ... Ben... ...
Paula: Ben??? Wow!!! That's great, he's seem to be a ... OKAY-GUY. Not bad not bad, hahaha...
Connie: Ooo please stop teasing me. I'm in pain now...
Paula: Pain? What are you talking about?
Connie: I don't know. I keep on thinking of him all the time, eat, sleep, study, I can't really
concentrate on other things nowadays.
Paula: That's sound quite serious. Hahaha... So... what's your plan next?
Connie: I don't know...
Paula: Hmm, why not just ask him? I can do it for ya.
Connie: Please don't. I'm afraid if he say no.
Paula: Well... if he say no, so what?
Connie: Easy for you to say! If he say no, I don't think that I would dare to talk to him again. I'm afraid we can't even be friends anymore.
Paula: Hey, you want to be "fren" or you want more than that? It's really up to you.
Connie: ... ...
Paula: ... ...
Connie: Arrggghhhh, I can't think anymore.
Paula: Hahaha... let's go to have lunch now. You'll be able to think more after that.

Influence

Kate: o come on, you deserve somebody better, nicer.
Jen: ... ... I know, but I just couldn't help it.
Kate: Hey, stop giving excuse and forget about him. He's really a jerk, as everybody knows! You know that too! Very well!!!
Jen: ... ... I know that, but, if you see him deeper, you'll realized that he's not really that bad.
Kate: Sigh~~~ Jen, you're a nice person, a very very nice person indeed. You'll be a good mother in the future, haha. But I'm not sure whether you're really in love with him, or you're just trying to be a savior.
Jen: No... I've never thought of being a "savior" or …
Kate: But, naturally, you did.
Jen: But,
Kate: No more "But". He's a jerk and you've tried your best to influence him, but somehow it doesn't seem to work.
Jen: ... ...
Kate: I know it's not easy to give up a relationship. That’s why I’m not gonna pushing ya. But you've
gotta find a way to make yourself happier.
Jen: ... ...
Kate: Sigh~~~, have you ever thought that, if he really loves you, he would probably has influenced by you?

Singing Joy

Fenny: Hey! I’ve got new some new mp3 here.
Jack: What songs do you have?
Fenny: Okie, hee… not very new songs actually, I’ve just finished downloaded them just now.
Jack: Turn it on then. Let me hear if I know them.
Fenny: Alright…
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Fenny: Haha! Fantastic!!! You know how to sing every song hur!!
Jack: Ha! Singing is in my blood!
Fenny: Hahaha, nonsense. But it’s really rare to see a person that know and sing a lot of songs, especially a man.
Jack: Hey, I have a lot of frens, men, who like to sing a lot. Some of them are a lot better than me.
Fenny: Ha… I’ve even heard one of my frens said that without music, she’ll die.
Jack: Now that’s too much.
Fenny: Ya, haha… but I think what she mean was she couldn’t bear a very quiet environment.
Jack: I guess she mean she doesn’t like to be alone.
Fenny: … … who will like it?
Jack: Is she pretty?
Fenny: Haha, none of your business.

Pain to Happiness

January 1994

Jack: At least you let me in. John was kind of pissed cos’ you insisted not to let him in yesterday.
Joe: … … I wasn’t ready yesterday.
Jack: Wasn’t ready?
Joe: … …
Jack: Sigh~~~ Forget it. How’s everything today? Going to school tomorrow?
Joe: … …
Jack: Everyone wanna see you. They want to know how you’re doing now.
Joe: School… … Sigh~~~ I don’t like it when they start to ask how have I been, where have I been.
Jack: Ha! That’s becos’ they care about you man, you should be happy for that.
Joe: … … But not she… …
Jack: … … I don’t know man, but she must be a very great person cos’ you’re still remembering her by this hour.
Joe: … … She’s the only best thing ever happen to me.
Jack: But not anymore…
Joe: … …
Jack: You have to stop lying on your bed all the time or staring at the sky for no reason.
Joe: I know! But I’m seriously in pain now! It’s very painful… …
Jack: Tell me, out of 10 times going out with her, how many time do you think that you were able to make her really happy? I mean “really” happy.
Joe: … … I don’t know… 5 times? ...
Jack: Great, now you finally know that you’re not good enough for her. At least that’s the reason why you’re in pain now. Next time, when you’re dating another girl, try to make 9 or 10.
Joe: … …
Jack: Come to school, you have a lotta frens waiting to ease your pain. At least that I can promise of. And I’m sure you’ll find your happiness sooner or later, cos’ the trick is that you have to be happy first.
Joe: … … Sigh~~~ why must pain’s the only way to happiness?
Jack: … …

Jack didn’t answer that question. 2 days later, Joe was seen in the school again. But Jack was still thinking in his heart, “why must pain’s the only way to happiness?”

(Joe is now having a relationship with the same girl again, after a year of separation. Perhaps he has already found out the meaning of the question he asked that day.)

Almost Give Up

This happened on late last year.

~~~3:00pm~~~
Jack: Arrgghh!!! I guess this happen becos’ it has been quite some time already. That’s why it’s hard to find it on this period.
Ted: Shit man! I didn’t know that we would face this problem.
Jack: I guess we gotta buy a paper then.

… …
Ted: There, let’s check it out now.
Jack: Damn, this paper doesn’t have any info on it.
Ted: What~~~ Are you serious, check it again.
Ted: This is really driving me nuts.
Jack: Go buy another one, here’s the money.

… …
Ted: Okay! This is a bigger one, sure has what we want in there.
Jack: Do you know the Chinese title of it? Cos’ this is a Chinese paper.
Ted: … … let me check.
Ted: This is really killing me!
Jack: I’ll go buy another one and I’ll make sure it’s English paper.

… …
Jack: There I know where it is already!!! Do you know how can we get there?
Ted: … … I’m not familiar with this country… But I don’t think it’s here.
Jack: Ha!!! Do you have an opinion?
Ted: … …
Jack: I’ll go ask that lady there.

~~~4:30pm~~~
Ted: YA!!!! Finally!!!
Jack: Haha, ya, such a long way here.
Ted: Trust me, I would have never thought that it would be this hard just for it!
Jack: Me either.

~~~5:30pm~~~
Announcement: Ladies & Gentlemen, … … technical problem … …
… …
Ted: Are you kidding me???
Jack: Come, there’s still ticket there, 9:30pm.
Ted: Are you serious?
Jack: Ya, just take the refund to buy the 9:30pm ticket.
Ted: Sigh~~~ What the heck. Let’s just do it.

~~~11:30pm~~~
Ted: At last, we finished what we suppose to do today. I almost wanted to give up. Cos’ I’m damn tired walking in the street just now, then, technical problem. It’s really dramatic man!
Jack: … … I don’t know, just now, all in my mind was I must get this done. If I give up, I’m afraid it would become a habit to me. And I prefer not to have it on me.
Ted: Ha… We’ve gotta be fast to get transport back. It’s already late at night, we might have to spend more money by getting a taxi.
Jack: … … I hope not.
Ted: Let’s just hope not then, haha.
Jack: Ha!
Ted: By the way, how was the movie?
Jack: Quentin Tarantino has always been my favourite!

That night, they managed to get back home by the cheapest public transport available: MRT + Bus.

Would You Like To Be In Control of Your Life?

A conversation between two men, happened early this year.

Steve: "I don't know, felt helpless. Don't really want to work there anymore."
Jack: "Why not?"
Steve: "Just don't feel good anymore. In fact, I've never felt good working there."
Jack: "Whatcha gonna do about that then?"
Steve: "Sigh~~~ I wish I know..."
Jack: "Don't you have a plan?"
Steve: "Felt helpless and hopeless. I'm feeling like I'm in a ship now, without a planned destination. I guess it's all depends on the wind to bring me where I should be."
Jack: "Hmm... ... depends to the fate?"
Steve: "Ya, that's the word, fate."
~~~~~~
Jack: "Have you watched the movie 'The Matrix' before? I'm pretty sure you did, didn't you?"
Steve: "Ya, of course I did."
Jack: "Great, there's one word which Neo told Morpheus, which is quite interesting."
Steve: "Hmm? What's that?"
Jack: "Morpheus asked Neo, if Neo believe in fate..."
Jack: "Neo said No."
Jack: "Morpheus asked 'Why?'"
Jack: "Neo said 'Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.'"
Steve: "... ... ... ..."
Jack: "So, would you like control of your life?"
Steve: "... ... ... ..."

Jack can't really remember Steve's answer, but he thinks Steve replied 'Yes'... ...

Today, Steve's still working in the same company. But both them are still frens.

Macross Fever

Just finished downloaded all episode of Macross 7. Sad thing is that, only realize its existence after 9 years since its release. Sigh~~~

Whatever, yo! FIRE!!!!

I've even downloaded and watched the Macross Movie: Do You Remember Love? I guess that's the reason why I like Macross, not becos of the robot, but the love story, it's all about relationship. Do You Remember Love is more to a love story in my view. The song "Do You Remember Love", I can't believe that I have already has it all this while in my harddisk! Incredible. Seems like the God has already pointed me to find the Macross. Unbelievable, though, it's misearable, cos' I don't like to feel that I can't really control my own life.